For the past few years – decades really – I’ve struggled with insecurity and self-worth.
But it wasn’t always easy to tell.
I come across as naturally confident and assertive. I’m good at what I do and invest it what I want to learn more about.
Plus there were no external signs.
Unlike running your own business, in the government, my salary was stable and assignments were a given.
Instead, any issues I may have had were contained to my relationships. But in your 20s, it’s easy to write off challenges as just being because you haven’t met the right guy yet or still have growing to do.
But once I started a business, the shit hit the proverbial fan.
Everything relied on me – my relationship skills, my confidence, my stamina, my money-making abilities.
No matter what angle you viewed it from, I was on the hook – and worse – I was broken.
Then the insecurities started surfacing hard and fast:
You can’t do anything right.
You’ll never figure it out.
You’re the only one who can’t get this.
No one will ever love you.
You’re unacceptable as you are.
You might as well quit.
These are real thoughts business owners (and others) think every day.
I call it the Existential Emergency of Entrepreneurship (or 3E’s).
Because nothing brings your true self forward faster than having to rely on yourself to succeed.
So what do you do about it if you’re feeing insecure and wondering if you’re worthy of your dreams?
Get over it.
That sounds harsh, but think about it…
Wondering if you’re worthy – and fearing that you’re not – assumes external judgment.
It implies that someone, someday might bequeath your worth upon you in a rush of blessing and atonement.
As good citizens who dutifully learned as children to seek our teacher’s approval, we’re all patiently waiting for this day when we’re granted approval to be worthy of living, wanting, and dreaming.
But the self-worth fairy isn’t coming!
No one is going to give you an A+ in loving yourself or a gold star for confidence.
Which means one thing and one thing only – the question doesn’t matter.
If there is no answer outside of you, then there is no reason to waste your time thinking about it.
No one can rightfully say you are NOT worthy of your dreams. The concept is ridiculous and you’d immediately balk if someone tried.
But if they can’t deny you, then they can’t approve you either.
So it seems we’ve all been wasting our precious time pondering something that isn’t relevant just for the sake of twirling our thumbs and not pursuing our dreams.
Let me be clear – this DOESN’T mean there isn’t self-worth work to do.
I had and still have HUGE leaps to make in confidence and believing I have a right to my own feelings, wants, and needs. Not to mention learning the skills to claim my desires once I recognize them.
But here’s the thing – notice it, get help getting out of it, and move on.
Because you are worthy.
Using insecurity as an excuse for why you’re not sure if you should post your next offer or rage about what makes you passionate is a waste of time.
The question itself is irrelevant.
Plus it’s unoriginal. We ALL struggle with insecurity and wanting approval and acceptance. It’s not a new game or unique to you.
Stop thinking that second-guessing yourself is your special burden to bear. If you want your dreams, then get over yourself and figure out how to make them happen.
It may take a lifetime of therapy or it may take 6 months of self-reflection.
Whatever it takes – know that you are worthy by default and start now.
Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!