You may have heard it said that self-esteem comes from esteemable acts. Which means that if you do good things, you feel good about yourself.
Which explains a lot if you think about it…
How many of us have jobs that sound impressive at parties but leave us feeling empty inside?
That’s because your job title isn’t a marker of what you respect. It doesn’t indicate the tasks that you do or how you behave while doing them. In short, it doesn’t disclose whether you value your day-to-day activities or yourself as you complete them.
Yet our society is set up to idolize job descriptions.
I feel the pain of this every time I meet someone new or go to market myself online. I feel pressured to bring up my government background. As if helping people find alignment through life purpose coaching and yoga isn’t “acceptable” and “impressive” enough. Because – let’s face it – it’s not.
People want to be wowed by big names and titles. We want to be impressed by power, however we perceive it.
But power is the ego’s game. It’s not the purview of the heart or soul.
The soul only wants to feel fulfilled, and fulfillment is measured by a different ruler. Your own ruler.
Which is why you’re the only one who can build your self-esteem.
Sure, others can point out good deeds that you’ve done, but even that can start to sound like bullet points off your resume.
The amalgamation may be impressive, but the daily actions looked much like mine do now: sit at a desk; type on a computer; and, bounce from meeting to meeting.
When I look back on my time in the government, I’m proud of what we achieved, but those moments aren’t what truly boost my confidence deep down.
Those moments look different:
- Picking up my colleague in the mornings to drive her to work
- Consoling a colleague when he was diagnosed with an incurable disease
- Remembering birthdays and throwing last-minute parties
These are the moments that matter to me. The times I acted in alignment with who I intend to be – caring, supportive, thoughtful.
These are my esteemable acts, even if I am also proud of the accolades and achievements.
So as you go about your day and week, consider – what makes you feel good about yourself when you do it?
Then do more of it.
Because that’s how you’ll build up your self-esteem. One daily action at a time.
Confidence isn’t stagnant; it’s a continually moving goal post. So keep practicing.
Keep doing the daily actions that prove to yourself that you’re a worthy individual.
Because no one’s opinion matters more.
Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!