How To Feel Powerful When You Don’t Get What You Want

I’ll level with you, yesterday was a tough day for much of the U.S. Many of my loved ones, yoga students, friends, and clients were shocked and saddened by the results of the election.

The word I heard over and over was “powerless”. People felt powerless.

To be honest, I’m no stranger to feeling powerless. In some ways it’s been my mantra for the past 20 years. From repeated sexual trauma to failed relationships to mounting debt in my 30s – I’ve gotten familiar with how it feels to be victimized by life.

But playing a victim isn’t a true reflection of what’s actually happening, nor does it help you create a happier ending.

Instead, I want to share some deeper wisdom with you on where your power comes from and how it works, so that you can take empowered steps to create a life you truly desire.

As I see it, there are 3 forces playing out in your life at any time:

– Conviction: the foundation of your beliefs.
– Intention: the deeper healing your soul desires.
– Motivation: the tangible, external goal you use to inspire action.

Imagine these like 3 legs of a stool – all three play a role in creating the seat of your life. Some of them are conscious choices like motivation, but intention and sometimes conviction can be either conscious or unconscious.

When these 3 are in sync, you feel powerful and like you’re working towards a clear goal with confidence. When they’re not, you can spiral into insecurity, doubt, and confusion and not know how to take action that feels good and moves you forward.

Let’s use an example from the recent U.S. election:

When people who were supporting Hillary Clinton had a clear goal to get her elected, they had a focused motivation to inspire action.

When she lost, that motivation was no longer there. So now you have intention and conviction with no clear outlet in tangible form (i.e. motivation).

The lack of a clear goal alone is enough to bog you down in feelings of hopelessness and confusion, because energy needs an outlet.

But here’s where we get gunked up as well-intentioned humans – and this is important. When you feel the vacuum of not knowing what to do, the common reaction is to do 1 of 2 things: collapse or fight.

Perhaps you’ve felt that before – like you want to lash out in response to something that you didn’t like or want to accept.

Let’s call this reaction a spike in energy. It’s a quick & big push born from resistance, fear, or panic.

But most of life unfolds on a longer sine curve instead, because you need time to integrate, evolve, and refill your stockpiles of energy.

Unfortunately this time spent behind the scenes – without clear inspired action – can be when you feel most lost, confused and powerless.

What on earth are you supposed to be doing during the dips between clear, focused action?

In short – checking in with your conviction and intention.

You work is to dig deep and explore what really matters to you. What you truly believe and desire – your conviction.

Is there a vision within you that needs to be expressed?

Then you tune into your intention:

What is behind how & why you choose to express your vision?

Because your soul is always sneakily using your life to heal itself. That’s why sometimes we discover the silver lining in pain, or sigh with relief from unanswered prayers.

The motivation we thought we wanted helped to inspire our action, but turned out not to be the best way to heal our soul.

Once you’re clear on your conviction (vision), as well as tune into your intention for how you want to approach creating it, then you are ready to take action when the next motivation arises.

You’ll be able to take empowered and inspired action.

But you have to give yourself time – the longer sine curve – to do the deeper internal work in order to be effective and aligned striving for your external goal.

Let me share one more quick example from an entirely different context:

For the past few years, I’ve been focused on making money to pay off debt. Debt was my motivation – my tangible, external goal I used to inspire action.

But it turns out that behind the scenes, my soul’s intention was actually quite the opposite. My soul wanted to feel loved and like it belonged with the people I cherish – all of whom are in debt and have previously called me “spoiled” for having money.

So no matter how much I pushed towards my motivation, my soul’s intention was counter-balancing my efforts.

Luckily, I pulled back and allowed for a dip in my sine curve of action. This was scary because up until then, I’d moved in fast, panicked spikes of activity every time a big bill was due.

But when I paused and dug deeper, I allowed my soul’s intention to bubble up to my consciousness.

Now that I see the conflict between my intention and motivation, I can use my conviction to choose an empowering vision & beliefs moving forward.

So what does this mean for you?

If you’re feeling frustrated that you aren’t getting what you want, look behind the scenes. Ask yourself what you truly believe in:

What do you most want to see in the world and for your life?

Once you feel confident in your conviction, get curious about what your soul most wants to feel & heal:

What is behind how & why you’re choosing to spend your energy?

Because when your conviction is strong and your soul’s intention has safe space to be revealed, you empower yourself to take action when the next clear motivation appears.

Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!

Love,
Alexis

p.s. Want to connect with me to see what you can do to get clear and move forward? Schedule a free discovery session here: