If you’ve read The Secret, you’ve heard about the Law of Attraction.
A principle tenet of self-empowerment junkies, the LOA is seductively simple:
You think about what you really want, completely ignore reality, stay focused, and then – one day – you have everything you dreamed of and more.
Skeptical? Me too.
I was raised to know better.
You don’t get everything you want in life. You have to work hard for success. You can’t laze around just expecting things to come to you – that’s selfish and self-entitled!
When I look back on my greatest achievements, they are not the result of some new-age mumbo-jumbo. I got where I am through single-minded focus and irrational hope and belief despite seemingly improbable odds.
Oh, shit. That’s the definition of the Law of Attraction, isn’t it?
The Easiest Job in the World
The things I’ve wanted most in my life also came the most easily:
- I loved a particular college but sarcastically claimed to the admissions officer that I wouldn’t attend unless I could buy my favorite candy (JuJu Fruits) on campus. Three days later, I got a personal phone call to say I’d been accepted!
- As a girl, I dreamed of helping people in conflict make peace. I started my career in immigration policy but three years later – with no job title, seniority, or direct boss – I created a team in my Department to deploy experts abroad in emergencies. I achieved my life-long dream in 4 years.
- After I quit the Government, a friend asked over lunch what I wanted to do. I flippantly responded “move to New Zealand for 6 months”. Five hours later, I was offered an 8-month housesitting job in northern New Zealand and I flew out two weeks later.
These successes have three common factors:
1) I knew what I wanted:
2) I believed it would happen: and
3) I was being completely honest and true to myself and my desires.
But they also felt like flukes.
I had the rap sheet to prove I could achieve whatever I wanted, but I hadn’t yet figured out how to do it on command.
The Missing Link
When I started listening to Abraham-Hicks talks on YouTube in March, an “aha” light switched on. The Law of Attraction isn’t about getting everything your heart desires. It’s about feeling good – today, now, in this moment.
You don’t have to believe in Woo-Woo magic to realize feeling good feels better than feeling bad.
When you feel good, you’re happy. You get more done. You are more fun to be around, and have more fun, period.
When you feel good, people are drawn to you – they want to be around your happy, light-hearted energy. Problems that seemed daunting moments before, no longer seem like such a big deal. Life is easier; it just flows.
The B.S. (Basic Skills)
Now my #1 priority is to feel good as often and for as long as I can. If I’m stressed, I take a break to reset, because no amount of pushing will create work as good or as easily as when I’m refreshed and uplifted.
I imagine you’re thinking – “Okay, Alexis, that’s great and all, but will feeling good really get me a new car?”
Maybe. Focusing is hard.
You have to know what you want and believe 100% without a single doubt that you will receive it.
You have to feel your dream life is already real, even if reality doesn’t reflect it yet. Plus you have to clear out any resistance or lingering hints of disbelief hiding in your mind.
Is there a chance you’ll spend your time delusionally imagining a life you’ll never lead? Sure. But you’ll be happy along the way, and isn’t that really the point?
You only have two choices – focus on everything you don’t have and will never get and feel miserable, or give yourself some TLC, feel good, and enjoy fantasizing about everything you want.
Call me crazy, but I choose the latter.
The Proof is in the Progress
Since I started actively choosing happy, my deepest desires are manifesting, seemingly overnight and miraculously:
- I decided to look for space to offer 1:1 yoga lessons and two days later was asked by a complete stranger to join her new healing center.
- I decided I wanted a close circle of uplifting, spiritually-inclined female friends, and within three weeks, I met 12 women, all of whom are amazing gifted, caring, and inspiring.
- I decided I wanted a few days away by myself and 12-hours later was asked to dog sit in a beautiful home for the weekend.
Feeling good and being clear just works.
I still feel worried and stressed, but, as soon as I notice it, I put everything on hold and give myself a break. I nap, walk, do yoga, talk to a friend, watch my favorite show – whatever it takes to feel good again.
Give it a try! The only thing you have to lose is feeling badly and that’s no loss!
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