If you’re anything like me, you’ve been saying you value yourself for years with no results.
You still keep attracting people who treat you poorly or experiences that make you feel less than stellar. Or perhaps you’re not earning any money – a clear sign of not valuing yourself.
So what gives?
You know you’re special. You know you’re valuable. You know you’re worthy of love and abundance.
Why doesn’t anyone else seem to get it?
They do. I promise.
The problem is you treat yourself like crap and that leaves a whole lot of room for others to do the same.
I know, I’ve been in that boat for years. And I just found the way out.
People who don’t value themselves tend to have one thing in common – fear.
You’re afraid of losing, missing out, and never getting what you want.
These fears lead you to cling for dear life to whatever you have now, even if it’s not even close to what you dream of. Combine that with an active imagination and damning sense of sentimentalism and you drag on for ages what should’ve ended at the first sign of trouble.
But there’s hope!
You CAN train others to treat you better. You CAN earn what you’re worth. You just have to learn how to treat yourself better first.
If you’re thinking – “Okay, EVERYONE says that, but how…?” I feel you. I wondered for years what it was I was doing wrong.
Here’s the secret: Leap.
You have to take a giant leap of faith that you will be supported – that you will get what you truly want – even if you let go of what you have now.
You will not miss out. You will not lose. You will make space to gain more than you ever imagined.
But you have to trust.
You have to trust yourself and those quiet whispers that tell you “not this, not now”. You have to trust God or the Universe that you’re supported and that you will be rewarded abundantly for your clarity.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Try these 3-steps to self-worth:
- Get super clear on what you want – especially, how you want to feel. This is my specialty; email me if you need help.
- Believe that you can have it. I use this yoga practice to raise my energy and sense of determination.
- Cut out all the shit in your life that makes you feel less than how you want to feel. No excuses, no delays, no kinda-sortas. If it’s not good, it’s gone.
Then revel in the amazingness that you are and enjoy all the good stuff speeding towards you!
It seems simple, but after years of struggling – losing one failed relationship after the next, under-earning, and feeling drained and depressed – I know it works.
Here’s what happened to me in just three days of valuing myself and drawing boundaries:
- Told a new beau “see ya!” because he makes lifestyle choices I don’t want in my life = sold a product an hour later.
- Reminded my ex not to contact me = signed 2 new clients.
- Excused myself from a mastermind group because I’m over-committed = signed a new client.
Don’t get me wrong – choosing to value yourself isn’t always easy. I hit major resistance with each one of the examples above and had to push through fear and decision-remorse.
- I second-guessed myself for hours after cutting it off with the beau, because a psychic told me he would heal my heart. But I didn’t feel honored, so it’s done.
- Likewise, I adore my ex and miss him every day, but he chooses to offer me less than I deserve, so he’s gotta go.
- And the mastermind group is full of heart-centered entrepreneurs who inspire and uplift me daily. But it wasn’t gelling, so I let it go.
Hard decision or not, there is no excuse for settling for less than what you want and deserve. The ways you deny yourself are exactly the ways the Universe will hold back from you – in love, joy, and money.
So get clear and then take a stand.
There is nothing more lovely than feeling like you stood out in front of your heart with arms outstretched to protect it from the world as you would a child from harm. This is what valuing yourself looks like and it feels great
So, tell me – what one way will you step up for yourself today?
p.s. I love this song to stay focused on me! It’s Me and You by She & Him: http://youtu.be/XqoCYxgx68E
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I am on vacation for two weeks and all I want to do is get my things in order in all areas of my life. I am just tired of dragging myself through life so I am really excited to find all this information. Alexis I believe I need to change careers! And I know what I should do but I am just so fearful of putting myself out there. You are doing exactly what I want to do! Healing people and giving them insight of how powerful they are. In my country at the moment there is a lot of fear mainly form years of racism and inequality so my people are just suffering including me I guess. I see through this suffering and could have some solutions but I am just so fearful of dropping this comfort zone and going out in front of everyone and claim that I have solutions. Oh gosh the judgement alone is enough to make me pee in my pants. But I know that’s what I have to do. I need to do it for myself first hence this vacation…to get clear about what I want. Please HELP!!!!!!!
Hi! Thanks for the comment Linda! I feel you – stepping into your deeper purpose and message can be both exhilarating and scary. The beauty of being in tune with yourself – like you are – is that you can see and really feel how big you’re meant to be, but that can also feel like a pretty big leap from where you are now!
It may help to think about it in two ways: actions you can take outwards; and work you can do inwards.
On the inner work, it may help to get clear on how you are embodying your message. So, for example, if your message is about peace, but you’re feeling fearful, then what can you do to move into BEING peace? How can you create a space and practice that allows you to feel how you know others can feel, so that you truly are living your message?
Then from that place of deeper being and knowing, ask yourself – what actions would most powerfully impact my target audience? What do they need to know, hear, and do? What do I need to know, do, and feel to step more into who I am and live my message more fully?
The idea is to practice getting yourself into alignment with your message every day so that you can take action inspired by your truth, not distorted by your fears.
Of course, most of us don’t live in that fully aligned place all the time, so there are lots of practices you can use to work through fear and get to the bottom of the beliefs that are holding you back. I use all sorts, from yoga, to mindset work, to tapping – they’re all helpful!
If you’re a few steps before this and wondering what your purpose and message really is – then check out my webinar, which walks you through questions you can ask yourself to get clear on your purpose and start taking action to bring it to life. (It’s here.) I’d also love to talk and see how we can get you aligned, clear, and moving! You can book a free next-step strategy call here: https://calendly.com/alexis/freecall
You’ve got this!