The Time It Takes To Catch Yourself

 

“Empty yourself and let the universe fill you.”

By the time you read this, I’ll be about to land in Sydney on Saturday morning for the final leg of my flight to visit friends New Zealand. The Friday you’ll enjoy will pass me by somewhere over the Pacific when we nose across the international date line.

I always wonder when this happens – am I losing a day of my life? Because the hours seem to tick by just the same except the calendar moves faster.

If time is finite, I feel robbed. Like I had to forfeit 1/100th of my life for the pleasure of adventure.

Like someone else’s definition of how to structure time and space cheated me of my innate right to hours of living and breathing.

The only thought that makes it better is that on the way back, I’ll live that day twice over, arriving in the next stop before I’d even left the first, according to the updated date and time.

But that means everything that starts has to come full circle in order to balance out. It means that time is relative internally even though it’s defined externally. And that everything is balanced precisely and moving at the exact right time and speed.

Sometimes that’s too magical for me to understand. I suppose if I lived in full faith and love, I would surrender easily into it. But I’m human and the ego part of me wants to resist and feel jealous of the inconvenience forced upon me.

I want to decide how each hour of my day passes. I want to know I used them – or wasted them – according to my own chosen parameters, however unconscious those may be.

But that’s the dance of living, isn’t it?

Exploring the interplay between the boundless, timeless nature of our souls and the seemingly constrained, limited experience of existing in this form.

I see this play out in other ways too – being afraid to let a relationship end, being worried you won’t have enough love/money/knowledge, being scared to start a new career.

Because these experiences don’t come full circle on their own. You’re not ensured a round-trip when you step out of the gate.

The person who helps you open a wound may not be the person who’ll close it. But the fear that that means it’ll never be closed ironically keeps you clinging to the wrong experience and blocking nature’s course.

It happens in business too – you hear the call of a new direction, but without a guarantee – an understanding of how the risk will pay off – you choose to stay restrained by the walls you can see instead of expanding into the vague vastness beyond.

But this flight convinces me more and more that no action is met without it’s complementary reaction. A vacuum must be filled, the yin will balance the yang, and loop will always come full circle.

So be grateful for the movement, for the opening, because it’s leading you closer to your ending. To the outcome you want above all others.

Because your soul is leading the way and it only knows wholeness, now and always. It’s just the mind that thinks you’re incomplete and short on time.

Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!

Love,
Alexis