It wasn’t planned, but we’ve ended up moving through quite a deep process this week:
– Seeing resistance for what it is,
– Comparing true confidence to false bravado, then,
– Defining success for ourselves.
Behind each of these topics there’s a common thread of belief: That you are unique, that you matter, that you have something to share in the world.
Children under a certain age don’t question their value or role – they just are. On an emotional level, many of us crave to feel that way again. The pure acceptance of self, other, and more largely “what is”.
You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to choose it for yourself. But you accept it.
The trouble most of us hit upon as adults is that we try to recreate that inherent feeling of what I call “enoughness” through self-gifted pleasures. Nice clothes, vacations, bigger houses, new TVs.
Which isn’t to say you shouldn’t spoil yourself. By all means! In fact, do it more, because it teaches you to pay attention to yourself.
But don’t confuse your toys with your longing, or your play time with your purpose.
Your purpose – that aching sense that something is off and you’re meant for something more – doesn’t want you to buy it things. It wants you to be.
Be who you want to be.
Be how you want to feel.
But not be what you THINK you need to be.
Your purpose doesn’t care if you’re an astrophysicist or a street sweeper – it cares about HOW you show up, HOW you connect with yourself and others, and WHY you’re working in the first place.
As you start to move beyond what you’ve internalized as what’s expected of you, you enter into a murky, tenuous place called vulnerability.
In this vulnerable space between clear definitions – one created by society, one created internally – it’s unclear what you should do. You can see what you used to believe and still identified with it strongly – your five year plan, your retirement dream, your lottery-winnings wish-list.
But you can’t yet see how you’d define yourself. Every step in the direction of the vague unknown is an act of rare, defiant bravery, because you are simultaneously separating yourself from your cultural beliefs, your family story, and the safe protections of your own self-definition.
The path must be walked anyway.
In order to make the leap between coasting through life, skimming at the surface of a soulful experience, and embracing this life as your one opportunity to explore the full depths and breadths of your abilities and desires, you have to choose you.
You have to decide that your curiousness and peculiarities are more important than fitting in and doing what’s expected.
You have to embody that belief so wholly that you hear your own deeper calling.
You have to so fully trust and love yourself that you seamlessly move into action – uniting mind, body, and spirit.
This is the experience of alignment so many of us are seeking: knowing, choosing, doing.
The first step is choose your allegiance. Choose you.
Be free. Be brave. Be YOU.
- What to do when you start slipping on your goals - January 9, 2019
- “But it’s not safe to be me…” 3 approaches to the fear of not being safe - January 7, 2019
- 3 tangible gifts of living your truth - January 5, 2019