I have a small (yet pathetic) confession to make.
Every day after I send out my blog post, I wait twenty minutes and then obsessively check to see if my ex opened and read it.
He’s one of my most loyal and consistent readers – most days he reads it within an hour, plus he usually clicks through on whatever link I share.
I’ve clung to him on my list because – for a few short seconds a day – I know he’s thinking of me. I know when he clicks on my pictures and when he reads my email again at 1am.
So even through he disappeared without goodbye, at least I know he misses me.
(I mentioned this was a pathetic confession, right?)
But lately I’ve felt oppressed by having him on my list. It’s felt like I’m allowing him to violate my boundaries for some infinitesimal reward. Plus, honestly, if he were to appear at my door, I want nothing to do with the guy.
But I just couldn’t seem to hit the unsubscribe button. Until Saturday. Thanks to a friend.
This is what my friend said: “Cut that shit out”.
Here’s the funny thing about being called out with love – it’s an awakening.
I already knew I was repeating an unhealthy cycle of behavior that made me feel like shit. But sometimes the pain of a habit doesn’t outweigh the comfort of it.
Change is uncomfortable, even when it’s good change. It’s just easier to stick with what you already know.
Luckily good friends give you a nudge in the right direction.
Though it wasn’t being called out that finally pushed me to hit unsubscribe my ex – it was being reminded of my worth.
My friend followed up his call to action with this:
I know these words shouldn’t need to be spoken. I know it should be obvious that I deserve more and better. And deep down I know it to be true.
But habits and hidden beliefs are powerful.
Because here’s the truth – I wasn’t keeping my ex on my list because of him. I don’t want to interact with him. I was keeping him on my list because it rationalized feeling bad about me.
It proved my deepest fears that I am unlovable and unacceptable – that I’m unworthy of honesty, attention, and commitment.
Now that I’m ready to move beyond those beliefs, I’m ready to let go of the habit I used to prove it to myself every day.
Especially with the support of good friends.
Because good friends shine the light of who you really are so brightly you can’t help but see it and then gently nudge you towards it at just the right time.
That’s what’s I hope I can do for you each day.
Even if we never meet, I want to remind you every day of your brilliance. That you deserve everything you want and more. That you deserve acceptance, respect, love, and happiness – not just from others, but from yourself.
Because you’re the most important person who ever lived. I don’t care what you’ve been told – the world DOES revolve around you.
It’s what you make of it and what you put out is what’s reflected right back to you. Because we’re all here for you. To help you grow. To help you learn. To give you the experience of a life-time.
So don’t beat yourself up about your crappy habits and ways you continue to prove your own limiting beliefs through others. Take heart that you can change it anytime you want to.
Because you have the power to make the best decision for you in every moment.
And I’m here to nudge you when you need it 🙂
Be free, be brave, be YOU!
p.s. Today’s the LAST day to join Quit That Shit! – a 6-week live tele-course to move beyond your limiting beliefs about what is possible & practical and discover your true calling. You’ll own your mission and align your beliefs and actions to create a life that truly reflects your brilliance. Learn more here: http://alexispierce.com/
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