girls secret

Yesterday I was reminded of something annoying true: humans can get stuck on negative mode.

I spent much of last weekend feeling better than ever. I’ve turned a corner in my life and have been trying to find the words to tell you about it – the tangible terms to describe the transformation you need to truly feel how you want to feel.

Sunday I took a three hour drive and put on a beloved Abraham Hicks CD for company. Although I’ve heard this talk at least a hundred times, this time I really heard what Abraham said: “the secret to life is to give up all the beliefs that stop you from feeling good.”

Wow. Simple, right?

But how many of us do that?

How many of us are really willing to stop secretly wishing we were thinner, richer, funnier, or more energized?

How many of us are really committed enough to what we want that we embody the feeling of it now – no matter how delusional that makes us?

Are you?

You may for a few minutes, maybe even an hour, but seeing the results takes consistent, daily practice. It’s takes continual focus to truly feel how you want to be.

It takes controlling your mind. And that’s hard work.

The mind is an amazing tool to help you recognize and analyze patterns. But that means it’s easy to get stuck in a habitual way of interacting with the world.

You see similarities in your circumstances and your brain responds in the same way. Great for spotting danger on the horizon, not great for transformational change.

Because change takes doing something different. It’s for the bold and brave. It means learning new habits and laying new lines of thought.

It means being someone other than your mind.

A higher you with more intelligent wisdom. A you that feels a truth that your mind may not understand yet.

Once you recognize this truth, you get to make choices about how much you believe in it – how much you’re willing to do to embody it.

Lady Gaga says:

“I used to walk down the street like I was a fucking star… I want people to walk around delusional about how great they can be – and then to fight so hard for it every day that the lie becomes the truth.”


That’s the key. You feel it first. You believe it first. Then you get the proof.

If you wait for the proof, you’re too late.

We all know about self-fulfilling prophecies, though we mostly think about them in the negative. Someone complains or worries so much about something happening that – sure enough – it does.

You learn these lessons as children through Chicken Little and other fables. We’re constantly shown the truth – don’t think negative thoughts because they’ll come true.

Yet that’s not what we see around us. We see the news gleefully reporting murder and misery. We see our parents worry about money, time, enough, enough, enough.

You’re taught to look outside you, get disciplined, and receive praise and ranking for how well you fall in line. Then as adults we spend our time trying to break free of our programming. Trying to unleash what we tamped down.

But many of us can’t. Many of us buried the joy of our souls so deeply beneath the layers of cynicism and bad habits that we can’t find it anymore.

Negative thinking has become our cage.

You read something that suggests following your joy and it vaguely resonates but you can’t remember what it means in action.

You see others succeeding and propelling themselves into phenomenal futures and you hear the words they’re saying – just believe it, take steps, act “as if” – but you still don’t get it.

You hear yourself saying “yeah, but I still don’t know what I’m doing…”, “I need more time / clarity / help / direction”.

Now is never the right time because you still need a few more pieces to fall into place.

Let me tell you – now is your ONLY time.

Your entire life is lived in right nows, which means if you’re continually waiting for later, a lot of now is going to pass you by.

I don’t say that to scare you with lack mentality because I believe you have all the time you need to achieve your priorities. But if you’re not achieving anything but waiting, then you know what you’re predominantly vibrating.

Before my new moon bath Friday night, an intuitive suggested I make it a ritual. That I use the opportunity to practice feeling my full worth and value. As a woman who couldn’t list a single characteristic of a valuable human, let alone feel them just a few month ago, this was a challenge.

So I sat there and repeated “I know my worth and value, I know my worth and value…” and an amazing thing happened.

My tension eased, the pain I carry in my limbs dissipated, my jaw realigned and I took such a deep breath that the sound of it shocked me out of meditative state.

I embodied my worth and it felt like nothing I’d experienced before.

From that place I could clearly see all the beliefs that I’d been beating the drum of that have no place in the life I want.

I’m unclear.
I’m confused.
I push too much.
I’m still getting there.
And blah blah blah

They’re bullshit! Pardon the phrase, but it’s all bullshit.

If you want something and you open your mouth to speak and out comes “but, just, only, almost, maybe, slowly, someday” then you’re not fully there.

You don’t fully believe what you want is possible.

You haven’t tapped into the feeling of its inevitability because it IS you, not an optional side-effect outcome of you.

So I try to find different examples and new words to explain this. To somehow share that they key is there in your hand. The ONLY thing you need to do is own it.

There’s no trick, there’s no secret, there’s no formula you still don’t know.

No process can logically guide you there because the truth lies beyond logic. You feel it.

You feel who you want to be and then it happens.

That’s it.

So if you want to get clear, say it “I am clear”. “I am getting clearer every day”.
If you want to be happy, say it “I’m allowing more and more joy every day”.

Find the phrase that works for you and let go of the negative knee-jerk reaction that it’s not true.

Who cares if it’s not true? Is believing in the opposite making you feel good? No.

So put yourself first and decide that feeling good is more important than believing what you think is true.

Because it is. Nothing is more important than you feeling good.

Feel it. Own it. Live it.

Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!