If you’re anything like me, you probably believe your fears are justified. Sadly, they are not.
I say sadly because life would be so much easier if they were. You wouldn’t have to face your fears or overcome them. You could just know right up front that you are not the problem – they are.
But in reality everything outside of you is neutral. It just is what it is.
Which means there is inherently nothing to fear.
And if there’s nothing to fear and everything’s neutral, then the only remaining option is you. You are somehow directly the source – and the solution – to fear.
Years ago, I read a book called Peace Pilgrim about a woman who had a spiritual awakening and then walked across the United States as a symbol for peace. Along the way, she ended up in situations that made my stomach knot and my skin break out into cold sweats:
Being picked up by strange men in the middle of the night on a highway.
Standing as a silent wall between a molester and his victim.
Sleeping on the road in the snow in only a thin layer.
She recounted in one story how a man who gave her a ride later confessed to intending to rape her when he picked her up hitchhiking. But he told her that she seemed so fully trusting and loving of him – so fully at peace – that he changed his mind.
Talk about mastery over fear!
She embodied love so fully that she no longer created circumstances to validate fear.
Instead she reacted in the moments as needed (like standing between the molester and his victim), but as a stand for love, not a response to fear.
So what does this mean for you? How can you use this idea right now, without having to quit your job, become enlightened, and follow in Peace’s footsteps?
1st – Take a look at your fears.
Many of us don’t even recognize our fears. Instead we see reasons why we can’t do, have, or be something:
It’s too expensive
I don’t have time
I have to take care of kids/others/spouse
I don’t have the money
But if we were honest, these reasons cover up deeper fears:
I’m not ready
What if I fail?
If I succeed, I’ll lose friends/love and/or have to change
If I draw boundaries, people will be mad
These are the fears at the heart of your decisions. The reasons you choose not to act are just excuses that validate your fears.
2nd – Debunk your fear.
Ask questions of your logic, like is true that you’re not ready? Can you know that 100%? Would being ready ensure success anyway?
The more you realize your mind is NOT you, and your thoughts are not necessarily true, the faster you’ll be able to get out of the cycle of feeling stuck by habitual thoughts.
Your mind is meant to come up with reasons to validate your feelings. It’s doing a great job when it shows you all the reasons you can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, and couldn’t.
But you are more than the sum of your thoughts. You have agency – choice.
3rd – Transcend the problem.
Albert Einstein said that “Problems cannot be solved with the same mind set that created them“. That’s why thinking your way through a decision just leaves you feeling like you’re running in circles chasing your own tail.
To get beyond your fear (which is a completely normal reaction of the mind to keep you safe & sound living out the status quo), you have to take yourself out of thinking and into feeling.
You have to imagine a way of being that is BEYOND the problem or situation you currently face – one in which that challenge no longer exists – and ask that person for insight. Then you’re in your solution-based mind, because you are tapping into a wisdom bigger than the logical brain understands.
This is important – when you know you have the power and ability to solve any problem and succeed in any situation, BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT YOUR FEAR, then you no longer need to use fear as an excuse to hold yourself back.
Instead, you can tap into a faith bigger than this moment, challenge, and worry, so that you can move forward with trust that you are always safe, supported, and making the right decision.
So think about something you’re turning over and over in your mind. If you knew – truly knew at your deepest unexplainable core – that you could not fail and there was nothing to fear –> what would you do?
Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!
Want help navigating your fears and figuring out your next step? Schedule a no-obligation discovery consultation now!
- What to do when you start slipping on your goals - January 9, 2019
- “But it’s not safe to be me…” 3 approaches to the fear of not being safe - January 7, 2019
- 3 tangible gifts of living your truth - January 5, 2019