“You choose how your day goes; not someone else.”

This was the last thing my boyfriend said to me as he left for work in the morning. I’d just received an email that spiraled me into feeling hopeless and powerless.

Through tears, I told him how I’d undervalued myself and my work and felt trapped in a cycle of fighting for scraps that weren’t even enough to begin with.

I told him how I’d failed – repeatedly – over years. How I couldn’t get it right, and I worried I’d never figure it out. How I didn’t believe, and I’d lost hope.

“You choose how your day goes; not someone else.”

With 9 simple words, he brought it back to me, my power, and my choice.

Because so often when you’re feeling out of control and down on your life, you don’t want a solution – you want comfort and commiseration.

You want to ease the pain right now in whatever way you can.

But here’s what I want to say – If you were lent a supportive ear, would it help? If someone listened and agreed that it really was unfair and you really do deserve better – would it free you to move forward?

Because my guess is that it won’t.

My guess is that getting comfort and reassurance would dull your anger and frustration over not being, having, and getting what you want. But that it wouldn’t change a thing.

At least not deep down.

Because when the tension eases, you only ease the pain, not the problem. You patch the symptom instead of fixing the cause.

To truly shift into a new experience – and have, be, and do things differently – you need to stop seeking out comfort for the unsettling feelings and face them head on instead.

Because within your discomfort lies the seed of your future, and it will grow the more you shine the light of truth on your desires, disappointments, and fears.

The more you sit with your anxious worries, the more likely you are to discover the fear beneath them.
The more you cry about feeling powerless, the sooner you’ll discover the true power within you.
The more you rage at your misfortune, the easier you’ll sense the silent peace at your core.

Notice when and how you try to ease your pain today and break the discomfort of facing your life and yourself – exactly as you are. Then stay for just 1 second longer.

Because the comfort you seek is through the pain, not around it.

Be free. Be brave. Be YOU!